Soapstar Superstar

You’d be forgiven for thinking I’ve got my grumpy pants on at the moment but I have to say I’m almost lost for words over this programme. It’s so poor I can hardly describe it.

To me it’s all just ITV having a go at yet more cheap and easy programming. It’s just bad, a very poor man’s Celebrity Fame Academy Yet another way to mop up money from the poor deluded public. I can see them now. Some anonymous man in a suit grabbing the money bag and sailing off in to the sunset on some luxury yatch, surrounded by a bevy of beauties, bottles of champagne, masses of caviar and a lobster buffet whilst laughing manically.

The actors taking part are great people but they’re not singers, not by any stretch of the imagination. No, maybe I’m being a bit unfair. They can hold a tune ….. some of them.

Richard is pretty good, as is Andy and Lee (passable). However, Roxanne is just a good looking girl (and wouldn’t we all like to be good looking girls) but please stop insulting me. My ears tell me she’s not that brilliant a singer but the judges keep bigging her up. Are they hearing something different in the studio to what’s being broadcast?

Come on, hands up which one of you would buy an album by anyone in this competition? No? No? Yes maybe? No? Ah ha, I thought so! Not a one of you!

One hit wonders – yes! Superstars – I don’t think so! The clue is in the show’s title. These people are Soapstars . Say it with me slowly “S O A P S T A R S”.

Fern and the presenter bloke just seem to be extremely uncomfortable – all the time. On the judges table, the producer bloke seems to be taking the P (please Bob). Cilla seems to be listening to her iPod (or something other than what the contestants are performing) and doing a bad impression of Sharon O. The American bloke has stopped attempting to listen and is only concerned with their clothes. Finally, the latest ousted celebrity contestant/guest judge just loves everyone.

Please, I am begging you ITV do not repeat this series!

But wait, what do I see in the no too distant future?!? It’s “Dancing on Ice”! A show where Torville and Dean teach, for it …… soapstars ….. to dance on ice! Here’s a new idea, why not get the public to phone in to vote to keep their favourites until we have only one left standing? We can charge, lets say 50p for each call or text. People won’t mind spending 50p it’s not much and we can always donate a certain amount from each call to charity just to help everyone feel better. Oh hold on, that is the format for the show? Oh goody!!!

Would someone please wake me up out of this nightmare?!?!?!?!

;)x