James Bond is soooo back!

I'm not really into James Bond. (Ok no gasps please!)

I liked Sean Connery as Bond, he always stopped me in my tracks but anyone after that only really got a quick lookee see. As for the actual films, the stories didn't really excite me. I loved the gadgets much more.

Recently we've seen a lot of posters of the new film Casino Royale on billboards and the side of buses. I have to admit that picture of Daniel Craig has intrigued me into thinking maybe I'd like to go see the movie. It's a lovely pic - him in a suit with the tie undone, looking all mean and moody and very capable - yum!!!

Today, however, that most beautiful of pics was spoilt for me by them plastering some woman in a red almost dress all over him. There she is standing there looking all sexy, seductive and gorgeous! How Dare they!!!!

I don't want to look at her! I know he gets the bird! We all know he gets the bird! Why do they have to rub my nose in it???!!!

Take her off my man errrrr I mean my favourite picture! I demand you remove her this instant! It's bad enough that I'm gonna have to watch her all through the film getting upto all sorts of shenanigans with James BUT can you at least leave me one scenario where this big, beautiful, black woman can imagine herself with that lovely man?

I thank you!

Signed: Desperate of Big Town! Shaken and Stirred!

:)x

Channel 5 Multiplies!

If you don't know yet then let me shout it from the roof tops!

Channel 5 is launching two more channels on British TV this weekend, Five Life and Five US.

Of course they are both digital channels, which I suppose gives me one more excuse to get a freeview box for my bedroom tv. Looking at the promised line up I think I personally will find a few things to enjoy as the long dark winter nights draw in.

Five Life launches on Sunday 15th October (2006) at 8pm

Five US launches on Monday 16th October (2006) at 8pm

:)x

Torchwood is coming!

Captain Jack is coming back in the all new series Torchwood.

This new show is a spinoff from the fabulous Dr Who.

It's due to start on BBC Three 22nd October (2006). If it's written with even a portion of the humour and cleverness in the Dr I think this will be a real gem.

:)x

Dodge Calibre - Yes another car advert!

Nasty corporate big boys in suits causing cute little cuddly charaters to be so scared they wet their pants ahhhh!!! Cute Toys Dodge Review

I don't know what it is about the ad for the Dodge Calibre that tickles my funny bone. It just does is all. So I thought I had to mention it.

Imagine my delight therefore when I went looking for a link to the advert only to find a little gem hidden away on the Dodge website. It seems there's another advert that was destined for our fair shores in the UK but it was banned. Why?? Well watch it for yourself and then click on the button to find out why. (WARNING - contains scenes of nudity) Moondog - Bad Dog!

As for me. I just think it's funny!

(Does that mean I really do need a dr?)

:)x

There's so much!!!!

There's loads to talk about. So much it scares me. New shows, adverts and even new channels.

So where do I start .... hmmmm????

Let's see...

:)x

Little Miss Joycelyn

I was really looking forward to Little Miss Joycelyn (Tuesdays 10.30pm on BBC Three) and was more than pleased to find it more than met my expectations.

Following the usual format of sketches primarily starring a main comedienne, it was still funny enough to keep me chuckling throughout the duration of the programme. My favourite characters so far are Mr and Mrs Omwukwopopo, Fiona and Paulette; I'm looking forward to seeing Gladys Kingston in action!

Coming from one of the girls involved in 3 non-blondes, one of the funniest programmes I've seen for ages and tragically overlooked by most, I hope this will not suffer the same fate. One warning though, the language is a bit strong in places so I wouldn't mark it out as one for the kids.

Each episode is available for UK viewers to watch online a week before transmission.

Little Miss Joycelyn on BBC Three

:)x

BB7 the mother of all twists!

There's a myth that's been perpetrated by TV and production companies. The myth is that the public has control over what happens in so called "reality" programmes. So far it's worked quite well. Every week, vast hordes of viewers wait avidly for phone numbers to flash up at the end of these shows so they can vote for the least/most hated person, knowing that like the baying crowds of old at public hangings they can tune it to watch the fate of the latest unfortunate (or some may say deserving) victim errr I mean contestant.

Most callers are fully aware that the cost of these calls is way above ordinary call charges but who cares? The rush from being able to vent your spleen, control someone else's life, by dialing a succession of numbers is well worth it.

Of course people failed to notice the creeping way in which this kind of profit making made it's way onto our screens and into our homes.

From music channels who encouraged you to phone your request in for your favourite video to quiz shows with a viewers question, just to help you feel like you were really involved and not just sitting in your armchair shouting at the tv. Of course we have the various "reality" programmes and now we have whole channels dedicated to one long phone in multiple answer quiz programme where you're charged whether or not you get through, just dial the number!

How long does it take people to figure out that questions like

"The rain in Spain falls mainly in the
A) dog
B) the back seat of the car
C) plain"

are designed not to find a winner but to get as many people phoning in as possible thus ramping up the profits? It seems it's taken a very long time.

Finally, however, the penny seems to have dropped (pun intended) with the latest BB7 twist. There's has been all sorts of "furore" going on over the fairness or otherwise of former housemates going back into the house and having a chance to win.

People are up in arms (ok, some people) because they have spent "good" money ensuring those housemates were hanged errrr sorry I mean evicted. Now, a few weeks down the line BB has turned tables not just on the housemates but also on the public.

BB is asking viewers not only to phone to vote evictees back into the house next door but then to possibly phone once again to evict one of the former housemates on the final week. (The current housemates are to decide who comes back into the main house). Okay so all the money for the return to the house next door is going to charity but talk about trying to sweeten the pill!! How cynical and manipulative can you get?

However, the fact remains that the people already spoke with regard to certain contestants and now they're being asked to speak again - AT YET MORE COST!

The public have spent the last 7 years laughing at the housemates and the way in which they have been controlled and manipulated by a faceless BB entity but BB7 has finally tipped his hand and we now know, with very little doubt, who is in control of the whole thing and who has really been manipulated all this time. The housemates have had it easy with all expenses paid, fed and watered, fees, celebrity status and possibly career opportunities not normally afforded ordinary people. Maybe they have been the ones laughing at the public all along.

So much for "Who goes??? You decide!!"

:)x

24 meets Star Trek

I've been loving the re-runs of the classic Star Trek Original Series at 7pm every evening on the Sci Fi Channel.

Yes, Star Trek is testosterone fuelled, American imperialism (thanks Phil - mwwahhh). Good ole' boys chasing around the universe imposing their idea of right and wrong, spouting the ideal of non-interference as they interfere right royally. Disapproving of the customs of civilisations old and young, whilst blowing up worlds, screwing (sorry) romancing the female of whatever species and helping whole societies to collapse.

The sexism, racism, bad acting, terrible fights (oops Kirk's top has been ripped off again), awful stunt/body doubles and over acting.

I love every minute of it!

I'd forgotten how many stories are recycled in the Star Trek universe. I tell you what, there's no better place to look for conservation ideas. Recently there were a couple of episodes, one called "Mirror Mirror" which was the story of a mirror universe where the federation was an empire ruled by fear and promotion was gained by murder and deceit. This was where the Enterprise story "In A Mirror Darkly" came from, one of my absolute favourites! Then another episode "The Changeling" which was obviously the story from which Star Trek the Movie (you know the one with "Vger" and the girl with no hair) was made.


Ok, so we all know the stories are basically the same time and again 

 but I made another discovery! I know where Chloe from 24 will end up or it maybe her great, great, great, great grand daughter!

Yup! Chloe will become Yeoman Rand and serve aboard the Enterprise underneath ('scuse the pun) none other than Captain Kirk! Don't believe me? Here are the pictures to prove it!


Well done that girl!!! I knew I loved her and now she's confirmed as one of my heroes!

Go Chloe!!!
Go Chloe!!!

:)x

Burger King - Superman

I'm a bit worried about the recent Burger King adverts. You know which ones I mean!! The ones with that bloke in fairy tale king's outfit and a giant plastic head.

There's something about the giant plastic head that just freaks me out. I don't know whether it's the size of the head, the shinyness, the staring eyes, the cheesy grin, the totally immobile features or what. All I know is I see the character and I feel, well ......"freaked"!

The lastest advert was released to run a promotion with the new Superman Returns movie. Oh my gosh no!!! All I can say is it 'superfreaked' me (heh heh)!

Why you may ask? Well, not only did it have that freaky king but it also had a freaky bloke sitting in a "so not a bloke way" on a bench staring almost lovingly at a nasty, horrible, uninviting looking sandwich.

See what you think ... Burger King Super Advert

Superfreak!!!!! Or maybe it's just me.


Peace ya'll

:)x

The Internet is like a series of tubes OK?

Warning!!! This post is not about a tv programme, well not in the usual sense of my posts here.

I just discovered (a few weeks after the whole of America) the definitive explanation of what the internet is. Now you may wonder why it would concern me but what I've not made clear on here is that my job involves working in IT and one of the questions I sometimes get asked by computing novices is "what is the internet?". Until now I had used stock phrases like "the information superhighway" or "lots of pages of information" or "cyberspace where anyone has the potential to interact with anyone from any part of the world" blahdee blahdee blah.

However, whilst finally catching up with some of my favourite blogs I came across this article on Wired News - "MySpace Kills Internet Tube Song".

Finally, at last and forever I have a way of explaining to all those novices out there what the internet is and even better Jon Stewart from the Daily Show put it all into a neat little package

Internet is a series of tubes - The Daily Show

Thank you Jon, thank you senator. We can all rest easy now.

Peace Ya'll

:)x

Big Brother 7 - is there a vampire in the house?

Hey guys, I have tried to avoid it but I had to give up and give in.

Yes, I have been watching Big Brother 7.

It made for very uncomfortable viewing during the first few weeks when there was a truly disturbing amount of bullying. Aisleyne being forced to evict her new housemates last week was on a par with the first few weeks. I struggled with whether I wanted to continue watching people being treated in this way but the cruel sadistic streak in me triumphed and I have continued.

I promise I will not write many posts on BB7, as I think it's getting more than enough coverage.

I couldn't resist this one though because I was struck by how much Glyn now looks like Spike. You know, the vampire from Angel. Forget Billy Idol (although he looks so much like him too). I much prefer the thought that there maybe a vampire in the house because let's face it we already have Pete the popstar/rocker!

Also this gives me an opportunity to put this picture of Spike and the dark, broody, hot one - that's Angel not Micheal by the way - on my blog (mmmmmmmm lol).

Could you imagine the scene though if Glynn was a vampire???

Cue BB music.....

Voice Over Man: "Day 57 in the BB house, it's 1am in the morning and for the first time all house mates appear to be asleep. Oh hold on, one house mate, Glyn has come to the diary room."

Glynn/Spike: "Hello Big Bruver! You know I wanted some black pudding? Well I think I'm ok for the moment."

BB: "Why's that Glynn? Have you gone off black pudding?"

Glynn/Spike: "Well it's the strangest thing BB. Ever since I dyed my hair I've had this urge to bite people's necks. I've discovered a new taste and I like it much more."

BB: "Could you explain what you mean about the taste Glynn?"

Glynn/Spike: "Well you know that black pudding is also known as blood sausage. I've found that lately when I kiss them on the neck I just have a little nibble and then suddenly I taste something like the black pudding, only warmer and all ooozier.

One other thing I noticed is that anyone I do that to seems to get a bit quiet and sleepy but they liven up in a couple of days. In the meantime the house is full of all these lovely people who like having my chops around various bits of their anatomy so I've got plenty of supplies. Oh that's apart from Susie, she just tastes like tea, could I nominate her to go please?"

As Glynn leans back in the diary chair laughing we see he seems to have a lovely set of knashers. Some that could do with a bit of a file down.

Suddenly the cameras switch from the BB Diary Room to the bedroom. We see it flooded with light and full of BB staff checking on housemates. Suddenly all the lights go dark as we hear the sound of running feet and lots of screaming......

Cut to station announcement

"Ladies and Gentlemen we apologise for the loss of your programme. BB will get back to you..."


(((Giggle, giggle)))

Peace Ya'll

:)x

Dr Who

I have loved the new Dr Who almost from the very first show.

But this last story, espcially the second part was absolutley superb!!!

For all you doubters out there, trust me ... you would be wise to get hold of both series one and two.

The growth in characters, stories, special effects etc is positively heart warming.

Whilst Christopher Ecclestone's Dr was manic and a bit scarey (in a nice way). David Tennants' Dr is witty with glimses of a dark almost menacing undercurrent.

The whole relationship with his assistant Rose made facinating viewing. I was mightily pleased that the writer/s finally sorted out her mom and spruced up her former boyfriend Mickey! I am also happy with the effects as they are i.e. that kind of almost man in a funny suit quality mixed with low budget CGI. That's what Dr Who is all about, please don't go all Matrix on us auntie Beeb!

My verdict on the show then ... Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!!!

I cannot wait for the Christmas Special and the new season.

Peace ya'll

:)x

Ice Skateing Citroen - Genius!

Ok sorry again for being away so long but I intend to slide right back in as if I'd never been away.

Have you seen the latest Citroen C4 advert? I think it is absolutely fantastic!

I love this version which I found on the net, probably the the unedited one. Little things like the suprised lumberjack and the engineer falling over when the car slides to a halt amuse me no end. For me it's those touches that add to the feeling of realism, oh if only cars could transform into ice skating geniuses ... could you imagine the stage show??

Peace ya'll

:)x

The Apprentice - The Final Judgment

If you missed this gem then I strongly urge you to watch it online, or wherever you can get hold of a copy.

The battle commenced at 9pm and what a battle it was!

Superb telly was provided by Paul and Syeed scrapping away trying to compete with each other selling tickets to the same group of people. They were on the same team and supposedly working together but the mighty egos bumped up against each other to magnificent effect for those of us watching and unfortunately nearly resulted in disaster for team leader Michelle.

I loved the meeting Michelle called on the street that effectively put Syeed in his place. His comment that he was "this close to getting very nasty" was only superceded by Paul earlier calling Syeed a (how shall I put it) "male chicken" under his breath. Funny, funny, funny - oh ok, it helped to have seen it. Eventually Michelle regrouped, the team pulled together, tickets were sold and the evening went off very well indeed.

Ruth's team by contrast were all chaps together. They worked well and each member of the team pulled their weight. There was a bit of a hiccup with regard to what the theme of the night would be, even Sir Alan put a call into Ruth to voice his opinion. However, they pulled off the murder mystery night complete with can can dancers and costumes. It all looked like great fun and moneywise pulled in almost twice the amount of the other team.

Money didn't talk for Sir Alan, however, when it came down to the final choice. In the end he went for Michelle.

It was a bit of a shocker in some ways but in others not really. I think he saw her as someone who would be an Apprentice in the truer sense of the word. Someone who needed to be moulded and polished. Whereas Ruth seemed to be pretty set in her ways (albeit a very effective manager).

So Michelle it is. Well done girl I wish you all the best!

As for Ruth (my favourite) she'll be more than ok.

Peace Ya'll

:)x

Woolwich Mortgage

Guaranteed to make me giggle at the moment is the new ad for Woolwich Mortgages.

It's shows a couple going through passport control on their way back from honeymoon in Jamaica. Why would that make me laugh? I hear you scream. Well watch this...

Woolwich Investments - Touch me!

It took me weeks to figure out what they were advertising because I was so amused everytime this ad played.

Oh oh, here comes the giggles again..... touch me

Peace Ya'll

:)x

Face Cream

Now, to state the obvious, everyone has to advertise their wares. It's a very necessary part of business but when they get on the telly and start telling me what I can afford it's a sure way to put me off the ad, the company and the product.

The one that gets on my wick the most for this is the one for a certain face cream with a certain Celebrity Beauty Editor.

There she is living and working the world of celeb, full of people well known these days more for scandals than for any talent or ability. All the public hears about is lavish lifestyles, spent shopping, partying, swearing at paparazzi and giving their kids daft names. They attend every premier, launch, concert, and award ceremony to not only mop up the free food, drink and publicity but goodie bags stuffed with all sorts of exclusive jewelly, clothes, shoes, gadgets, and modes of transport. This is in addition to the astronomical fees for films, commercials, PAs and opening the local Co-op.

So this is where I'm coming from. I'm being told this about celebs all the time. "The must have for this season is this blue bag made out of tissue paper that you may be able to fit the ring from your left hand little finger (and remember the ring must be made of green salami with purple mushrooms). It's a steal at only 500 squid."

Mmmmm yes, that's why you miss editor would think nothing of buying a face cream for £20. Well Honey! That may not be a celebrity price tag to you but to me (pauper that I am) that's a hell of a lot of money for something that's probably only gonna last me a few weeks. For that kind of mula I'd expect the jar to have the very finest diamonique stones embedded in the lettering.

I think I'll stick with me £3 bottle of stuff that keeps me skin the beautiful, soft and shine free!

Ok Rant over!

Peace Ya'll

:)x

The Apprentice - Aproaching the Last Hurdle

I told ya! What did I say?!! The Badger lives on!

Ok, ok so I was wrong about Paul but to be honest after the hearing the quote of the series (".... the Colosseum where they filmed Gladiator and stuff") from him, I should have know better anyways.

What was he thinking to write something slagging off the selling techniques of Big Issue sellers? For someone who purports to work in recruitment to admit that he hadn't even taken the time to write his own CV never mind (obviously) read it thoroughly, was pretty frightening.

Ansell disappointed me, not in how he's performed throughout the series but in the fact that he (along with others) hadn't even researched what goods manufactured or supplied by Sir Alan's companies.

Come on people are you seriously telling me you would go up for a £100 grand a year job with so little preparation?

School boy error!!!!!!!

Yes guys and galls, you may be applying to be Sir Alan's Apprentice but don't you think it might be an idea to be aware of what you may very well be involved in working on? If only so's you could nod and say yes at appropriate parts of a conversation with the great knight himself.

Well it's left to the ladies to hold the fort and don't go thinking I think they performed a great deal better in the interviews.

Michelle leaves me cold to be honest. Very, very ambitious and in certain ways very controlled. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she's a successful businesswoman (who am I to criticise her. Look at me twice her age and on a fraction of her earnings) but it would be nice to see some warmth in her eyes. (Anyways what that's for to do with business I don't know - lol)

Ruth, Ruth, Ruth!!! Calm down babes. You've done well. You can come over a little aggressive at times and I think you need to let others finish what they are saying more often. When all's said and done, Ruth is my favourite for the top spot. Hence we go back to my original statement "the Badger lives on"!!! Yay!

So here we are then. I don't know about you but I know exactly what I'll be doing at 9pm tomorrow, so don't even think about calling ok?

Peace Ya'll

:)x

Masterchef Goes Large

Nothing at all like the previous incarnation. No red or blue kitchen. No Lloyd Grossman and guest chef discussing whatever up the corner. No annoying wandering around the contestants just when they are at the height of panic stations asking stupid questions like "and what are you planning to do with the stock?" (Errr how about leaving the kitchen before you find out in a not so polite way???!!)

Nope, Masterchef has gone large. The would be chefs are out of the studio for part of the show and thrown in at the deep end in a real live working kitchen. The judges consider all kinds of things not just how fancy the presented recipies are. The contestants are really encouraged to think long and hard about the why, what, how and when.

I'm sure I've missed the whole competition for this year but I seem to keep bumping into episodes when surfing the tv and then that's me, happily hooked for the next 30 minutes or so.

It's a new and improved recipe! Well done Aunty Beeb!!!

:)x

Ice Age 2

Of course I know that this is a TV blog but let's face it, with the advent of the internet, downloads and all things digital technology, it probably won't be long before this little gem (currently out in UK cinemas) will be on TV. Not only that but this is my blog so I can post about anything I want so there!

I went to see Ice Age 2 over the bank holiday weekend and it was a real treat.

I won't rant on about what everyone knows is top quality animation from the realistic looking fur, water (flood) scenes, to the scenery, the the fire to the geysers to the way the breeze moved through the trees or the colours, shades, perspectives, the marriage of actor's voices with each character, the music etc etc.

What I'm trying to say is that this film is just a jolly good yarn folks. Definately worth a visit. You will laugh from the beginning to the very last drop.

Bring the kids or don't bring the kids, just go see it ok?!?

:)x

The Apprentice

Well we've got to the last 4 and tonight it's the roughest, toughest interviews anyone can ever expect to face.

The candidates will be grilled (and I mean slow spit roast stylee) by 3 of Sir Alan's trusted people. All highly successful business men in their own right, they have gained the trust of Sir Alan. They will be sure to take no prisoners tonight. No matter your previous achievements it will take a lot to impress these people and even if you succeeded in impressing them you would probaly never know. If the candidates, 2 boys and 2 girls, think they've had it tough so far, they ain't seen nothing yet!

To cap it off, this week we lose 2 people in one go ready for the almighty showdown next week.

It'll be hard to see them go but I reckon - and here I'm sticking my neck way, way out - that we'll be saying goodbye to Ansell and Michelle. Last two standing will be Paul and Ruth. Ok, so I'll probably get shot down in flames here with these predictions but it's nothing compared to what these candidates have been through over the last 10 weeks (and it's oh sooooo much more preferable).

My quote of the series so far has to be when Paul was talking to Ansell about Rome after winning a luxury trip at the end of the last task. Here I'm paraphrasing but the conversation went something like this.

Paul: "Wow Rome! Great! Have you ever been to Rome?"
Ansell : "No. I've never been to Italy"
Paul: "Oh it's great! They've got loads in Rome. They've got the Colosseum and everything. You know the Colosseum where they filmed Gladiator"

Oh my God! How very priceless!

All the majesty and history in Rome and the best you can say is it's where they filmed Gladiator - you're after a job paying how much a year???!! Good thing it's not as a tour guide.

:)x

Oh and one more thing. I'm loving that we can now watch certain shows online at any time and of course "The Apprentice" is one such entity. It's way past time that the tv companies woke up and smelled the aroma of the internet! Yippee!!!